Ever since I was a child I would hear people telling me, “Konica, be more girl-like”. I was always a Tom boy and I guess my proclivity for climbing trees (which I still like to do), SERIOUSLY, and my Dennis the Menace attitude have always been my girl-like downfall.

So, just what is being girl-like behavior all about anyway? I’ve asked different girls and here is the most common responses.

1.  Keep your legs closed and by your side whenever sitting…Yeah…Like THAT’S gonna happen. Hell, I’m worse than Lindsay Lohan, and no, that’s not WHY I do it, I just forget and well, sometimes let’s just say people get a free show. Does this by itself mean I’m promiscuous, HELL no, It’s the getting DRUNK and then lifting my shirt that makes me promiscuous. Oh and guys, BTW, my EYES are up HERE. Thank you.

2.  Don’t have a potty mouth. I do agree with this one, but, sometimes it’s just so F**KING HARD!!! I know, all of the greats don’t have a potty mouths, take Aayushi(one of my childhood friend) for example. No, WAIT,  Let’s go with Mini Mouse instead, yeah, Mini Mouse, she NEVER swears, But, then again, she’s a darn MOUSE…

3.  Slurping, burping, nose picking, and farting…ALL very ungirly-like behavior. OK…I’m pretty good on this one (Well…While sober anyway), I DO occasionally pick my nose, BUT, only in my room  so NO ONE can see me. Hey…We ALL burp at inappropriate times once in a while, so I don’t really see this as a fault of being ungirly- like ,so, get off my BACK BOZO!!! Farting is something I try never to do in public, but, once again, sometimes it is just necessary right? I do expel gas very girl-like though, I hold my legs tightly together so it only comes out with just a little squeak, so I think I’m OK here. I NEVER slurp, (Again, when sober), so I have this one covered.

OK, so I guess I’m just gonna have to go back to the Eighty’s and take one of those How to be a ‘girl’ class. I admit, I COULD use a little work on being more girl-like, but, Ya know what, I like ME, just the way I am, So Owwwwww. BUUUURP!!! give ne a break!