There’s something people  should know about me: I’m a bit of a worry-wart. I worry about what people think of me, I worry something will happen to my dog(and then who will help me weed out the bad guys?)and, worst of all, I worry that I’m screwing up my RELATIONSHIP with my BF!

I was reading a book on Abnormal Psychology that says that excessive worrying can be a detriment to a perfectly happy Relationship. (Great, now I can add that to my list!) It makes sense to me that focusing on the negative can turn a plum of a relationship into a sour apple.

So Here are the few things we shouldn’t be doing to ruin, “the healthy relationship”!

Do not take him for-granted

Little acts of generosity have been proven to be the basics of a healthy relationship, so return the favor and do things for him that show you care.He’s choosing to be with you. He doesn’t HAVE to be. So, remind him how special he is to you. Don’t forget to say “Thank you” for taking you out or remembering to bring home your favorite mango shake from the market!

Do not give Ultimatums

No one likes to be threatened and saying, “I’ll leave you unless…” and “You better do this or…” will only cause a divide between you.Well… that behavior is better left to the kidos. (Remember saying, “If you want to be my friend, you have to play with me/give me your toy/never talk to that girl again?”) That’s not gonna work after you graduate high school. so just avoid threatening with those silly statements.

Do not spy out of jealousy or insecurity

OK, so we’re human and we all have bouts of the above, but the trick is to not let it eat away at you and cause you to start checking his phone and email every time he leaves the room.Or monitoring his web history while he’s away from you. He thinks you’re awesome. (And you are!) So unless you have a real reason to believe he’s seeing someone else or he doesn’t love you just the way you are, don’t let it drive your behavior.

Do not act Clingy

Both are equally detrimental. Individuality is important in a relationship. If he wants to go out with his friends, give him the space to do so. And, conversely, if he shows you affection and asks for intimacy, respect his desires. The more you pull away, the more he’ll think you’re not invested in the relationship.

Do not stop Communicating
You can talk all you want, but once you stop expressing yourself, sharing and working through issues, the relationship will be at a standstill. This also goes for ignoring him. I don’t think there’s anything more painful than being shut out and not listened to. So, there you have it. Tell him how you feel, why you do the things you do, and what you love about him. It will bring you closer and strengthen your bond.
Is anyone guilty of the above? (I know I am!) Which ones are the hardest for you?


 


 

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