Why are people surprised that someone that lied to them before, lied to them again?

In some ways, we all lie. When someone asks us how we are, instead of pouring out our problems, we simply say “I’m fine”. Those are not the kind of lies we are talking about.

We are discussing serious lies, such as:

Cheating, affairs, and all the lies that come with them.

Telling you they are single or seeing no one else when they are not.

Going to places like strip clubs where they swore to you they would not go.

Watching way too much porn online and keeping it a major secret.

When lies like these come to the surface, people’s reactions are that of shock and feelings of betrayal. They are surprised that a person they trusted lied to them to this degree. That makes sense the first time. After that, it should not longer come as a major shock, should it? Why are people so surprised that they are being lied to, again and again? When our BF or spouse is less than truthful with us, our trust in them diminishes. It may take a long time to build that trust back up again. If the lie was major, it can cause significant damage and the trust may never be repaired. What if the person you love lies to you over and over again? You never get the chance to rebuild the trust, and it almost becomes a game between you two: they try and see what lies they can get away with, and you see what lies you can catch them in. Is this any way to live?

The truth is, many liars lie again and again.

How many lies does it take for someone to decide they want a relationship based on truth, trust, and respect? Why remain in a relationship where you don’t believe a word they say?