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How many chances should you give him?

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How many chances should you give a guy before you end-up a relationship?

It really does depend on what you are giving him another chance for. It is reasonable to give him a few chances to remember to put the toilet seat down because it is not a major offense like having an affair. The key word is reasonable. If a guy  constantly lies about where he is and you keep catching him, if you don’t end the relationship, you have basically accepted the behavior and it becomes a part of your relationship.

Relationships should have set, permanent boundaries, not temporary ones. If you do not want to be with a guy who lies all the time, then end your relationship with the guy  who is lying to you all the time. When a guy knows he can get away with something, not only will he do it, but he doesn’t fear the consequences of doing it. You cannot say you won’t tolerate a guy who cheats on you and stay with a guy  who continues to cheat on you.

Most people believe in second chances. They want to think they would be given a second chance, and I understand that. It is one thing to screw up at work and hope, or feel you deserve a second chance. It is another to think you can do something that will end a relationship and get a second chance. The things that end relationships are serious in almost all cases. Do they really deserve a second chance when they cheated on you? Definateley  not when they abused you in any way, shape or form. So how many chances should you give him?

Chances are, if you are reading this post, you already gave him too many!!!

Open your eyes!

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To some degree guys are just as faithful as their options. If you leave a guy with fewer options, he is less likely to cheat on you.

How would you feel if I told you that your guy  cheated on you because you are an ugly, overweight, boring, lousy lover who can’t get anything right and even though your guy  tried to make things work, your old-fashioned, sexually stubborn self never agreed to compromise? Ouch! That sounds pretty harsh. It’s just a lot easier to call a guy  a pig!

The problem is that sometimes people are quick to point the finger at others rather than analyze why the individual cheated. Maybe your own actions had a big role in pushing the other to the brink of temptation.
The common belief is, “I’m not a bad person”. I don’t need to change, I’m not the one who cheated. The result is that the whole process repeats itself without being rectified, which is probably why so many guys and girls  complain about having been cheated on in so many relationships.
So why do people cheat? The answer is quite simple. People do not cheat because they’re pigs, sows, bitches, or dogs. It all comes down to two basic drives: the physical sexual drive and the emotional need.

People usually cheat because there is a conflict between their physical and emotional desires. By accepting and understanding these shortcomings — instead of ignoring them — we can hopefully work harder to make sure that our partners are satisfied enough to resist any instinctual sexual urge.
The question you have to ask yourself is which drive is stronger, and which one has a bigger influence in your life. In general, each person is different, but it is generally the physical sexual drive that dominates a person’s actions.Why? Because this drive has been present in human behavior for millions of years. Whereas the emotional  need has only been around for a few thousand years, obviously a few thousand years of emotional needs will not overcome millions of years of one’s evolutionary sexual drive.

When a guy falls for temptation, he might forget what attracted him to his girl in the first place, and lose sight of the chemistry and infatuation he once experienced for that girl. It is a delusion to believe that a relationship should always progress smoothly on the road to eternal bliss. However, focusing on the negative will lead one to perceive that they are so miserable that they seek to fulfill their needs elsewhere.

Cheating is simple! but a relationship is more complicated. Cheating usually offers instant gratification, physically and emotionally. A relationship requires lots of maintenance. Giving it care and attention along with trust and communication will continuously help both people grow.
So if you become involved with another person, you owe it to yourself and your girlfriend/ boyfriend to be honest. Creating lie upon lie will only hurt everyone involved. Take a close look at your relationship before seeking happiness with another person.

Liars!

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Why are people surprised that someone that lied to them before, lied to them again?

In some ways, we all lie. When someone asks us how we are, instead of pouring out our problems, we simply say “I’m fine”. Those are not the kind of lies we are talking about.

We are discussing serious lies, such as:

Cheating, affairs, and all the lies that come with them.

Telling you they are single or seeing no one else when they are not.

Going to places like strip clubs where they swore to you they would not go.

Watching way too much porn online and keeping it a major secret.

When lies like these come to the surface, people’s reactions are that of shock and feelings of betrayal. They are surprised that a person they trusted lied to them to this degree. That makes sense the first time. After that, it should not longer come as a major shock, should it? Why are people so surprised that they are being lied to, again and again? When our BF or spouse is less than truthful with us, our trust in them diminishes. It may take a long time to build that trust back up again. If the lie was major, it can cause significant damage and the trust may never be repaired. What if the person you love lies to you over and over again? You never get the chance to rebuild the trust, and it almost becomes a game between you two: they try and see what lies they can get away with, and you see what lies you can catch them in. Is this any way to live?

The truth is, many liars lie again and again.

How many lies does it take for someone to decide they want a relationship based on truth, trust, and respect? Why remain in a relationship where you don’t believe a word they say?

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